“…and we let the old limbs of our tree die.” – Sarah Blondin
As we approach the half-way point of 2025, many of us reflect on the status of the goals we set earlier in the year.
A personal goal of mine included regular mediation, even if only for a few minutes, on most days each week.
Well, best laid plans…
This morning, my body is feeling the gap in time in since I last meditated.
Tension. A shortness of breath. A head that won’t stop spinning.
So, I grabbed my phone and opened my guided meditation app. Then I asked myself: What do I need today?
Because it’s been a while, I decided to stick with what, for me, is a sure thing: any meditation by Sarah Blondin.
While ALL of her guided meditations are amazing, one of my favorites is called Rewrite Your Narrative. It reminds me that I get to examine the stories that create the frame of my life; my beliefs, my choices…basically who I believe myself, and the world, to be.
The meditation paints a picture of the limbs of a tree…each limb representing a story, many inherited, that has created our life experience.
“…and we let the old limbs of our tree die.”
In the busy-ness of life, I can forget that I have choices. Busy-ness creates responses on autopilot; a ‘default’ state that relies on muscle memory, resulting in:
- days passing, each looking a lot like the last.
- decisions that carry a distinct familiarity because they’re safe.
- an exercise routine that no longer yields the results I want.
When I snap out of it long enough to notice, I’m faced with the question:
‘Is that all you got?’
It can feel like it is. I’m in a rut that has taken root. The roots of MY tree.
So, what does this have to do with leadership?
We are all so busy driven by goals and KPIs that we might fail to see that we’re operating on autopilot more often than not. Back-to-back meetings, many that could have been emails, rule the day.
We rely on our default operating system, created with code from uploaded programming that no longer supports our leadership effectiveness.
Our beliefs and stories drive our behavior. If you believe that their team members can’t be trusted and must be micro-managed to get results, what beliefs and stories are driving you?
- “If I don’t stay on top of them, they’ll slack off.”
- “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.”
- “If I want to want to get results, I need to be a hard a$$.”
Time to get out the power saw before those dying branches (e.g., stories) do real damage. Here are a few tips to trim those limbs:
Inquire. It’s rare when my tips don’t include getting some feedback. The truth is, our stories have served a purpose, and until we get some perspective from others on the impact of our behavior, we’ll continue to operate from our own point of view.
So, who in your circle is not afraid to tell you that a branch on your tree is about to fall on your parked car if you don’t do something about it?
Identify at least three people. Ask them to tell you what you’re not seeing.
Incubate. Extract yourself from the busy-ness of your day and block off some time to think deeply about the feedback you received. Creating uninterrupted space allows us the opportunity to ponder and reflect.
I’m a big fan of prompted journaling. If this is your thing, here are a few questions to get you started:
- What common thread(s) ran through the feedback I received from others?
- What belief or story have I been feeding?
- What new belief or story would better serve me?
Integrate. Rubber…meet road. It’s time to commit to NEW beliefs and stories that will result in new behavior.
In Sarah’s meditation, she reminds us that “…you are free here to make a new song…”
AND…”a deeper truth, becomes us.”
What is ONE SHIFT you can make? Keep it simple.
Of course, committing to significant change requires support. Consider working with a coach or an accountability ‘buddy’ to create momentum toward your goals.
As a leader, which limbs of your tree are you continuing to prune and water, when your results are making it clear it’s time to let them die?