“What’s your angle?”
It’s a great, if pointed, question…one that cover all manner of topics.
More specifically, this question came from a colleague with whom I was sharing some plans to expand my writing beyond this monthly newsletter.
I love to write, and honestly, when I sit down to write my newsletters, it starts with a question:
What’s top of mind for me right now?
Well, what’s top of mind for me right now is…declaring my ‘angle.’
When I started my monthly newsletter a few years ago, I didn’t really have a plan, but the structure has been consistent:
- Tell a story (usually a personal one),
- Connect it in some way to leadership, then
- Offer three (3) related tips to help you, the reader, be a better leader.
But as I consider the ‘angle’ question, I’m thinking bigger.
As a Leadership Coach (and as a human, for that matter), what’s my position? In what ways do I take a stand?
It’s easy to fall down a rabbit hole of perspectives I can have on many subjects, so I’ll focus on one:
In what ways can we each show up as the best leaders we can be?
No one goes into a leadership role with the intention of being a lousy leader. That doesn’t prevent it from happening.
For many years, I believed that if I worked really hard, I would be successful. As an individual contributor, it worked…for a time.
As a leader, not so much. My team didn’t need me to ‘do’ more…they needed me to BE their leader.
Many of us adopt a leadership style that is rooted in what we believe about ourselves and others. AND…we believe we’re right.
- If I believe others can’t be trusted, I’ll lead that way.
- If I believe I’m the one with all the answers, I’ll lead that way.
- If I believe success requires working ‘hard’ to be successful, I’ll lead that way.
Here’s what I believe: Leadership is an inside job. To be a great leader, you must first lead YOURSELF.
The term ‘self-leadership’ has been coined in a few different contexts…and of course, I need to add my own ‘angle.’
From my perspective, Self-Leadership is about creating a strong sense of WHO WE ARE so we can have the CLARITY and CONFIDENCE to go after what we want. It assumes that when we know, accept and care for ourselves, we can more easily extend the same to others…how we show up as leaders.
Of course, I had to create a model…
My experience has taught me that the better I got to know myself…my values, my strengths, my priorities, my beliefs…the more clarity and confidence I had to show up as a good leader, in ALL areas of my life.
How I show up in my relationships has changed. How I show up as a parent has changed. And most importantly…
How I show up for MYSELF has changed.
At this point, I usually ask the question: what does this have to do with leadership?
I’m going to use this space to break down the Self-Leadership model…AND share the value of building your Self-Leadership to who you are as a leader.
EXPLORE it. We start by getting to know ourselves through Self-Awareness and Self-Knowledge. This requires a willingness to see what we may not have seen about ourselves before.
Self-awareness is foundational; it is a skill that attunes us to our emotions and feelings, revealing our emotional triggers (internal) and how we react or respond to the world around us (external). Regular ‘check-ins’ provide an opportunity to recalibrate through self-reflection.
Self-Knowledge is LEARNING from our self-awareness. It’s our insight into who we are; our values, strengths and weaknesses, talents and gifts, and our ‘superpowers.’ We all have blind spots that prevent us from seeing how we impact others. Asking others to tell us how our choices and behaviors impact them provides us with additional information.
EMBODY it. As we start to pay attention to our responses and learn more about who we are, we’re asked to accept everything, positive and otherwise, about ourselves. We also can start to acknowledge our contributions in all areas of our lives.
Self-Acceptance sets the stage for making desired change through acknowledgment and accountability. Forgiving ourselves for or mistakes or things we may not be aware of (blind spots) helps us to release any related shame or disappointment. It includes empathy for our experience, forgiveness for our missteps, and ongoing compassion for our human-ness.
Self-Regard (or self-love) is the fuel that drives our willingness to achieve our goals. Our self-doubt diminishes as we trust ourselves; we listen to our own ‘inner guidance system,’ and we rely LESS on the arbitrary opinions of others.
EXPRESS it. This is where the rubber meets the road…it’s the embodiment of Self-Leadership in action.
Self-Care empowers us to take a stand for US. When we prioritize our self-care, we speak our truth with the intention of being heard, expressing our feelings, needs and requests in a calm, clear way. We advocate for ourselves and others…
Being Self-Less engages our willingness to share what we’ve experienced and learned and modeling our new authentic way of being for others. We become more curious about others and what’s important to them.
Why is this important to your leadership?
Here’s what I know for sure: When we change the way we see ourselves, we see others differently as well. We are more honest, open and willing to lead intentionally from our unique authenticity.
When I change, others around me change. For example, when I set boundaries to honor my priorities, others will be forced to either accept those boundaries or not. It doesn’t change the boundary, only their response to it.